What makes a romance novel go from awwww to awful for a reader?

Last week I asked if you stopped reading if a couple get together too soon in the book and I got a yes and an it depends.

So, here's my question for this week -- what makes a romance novel (or any novel, really) go from awww (that's so sweet!) to awful for you as a reader?

I've read a few romances where it's "obvious" the couple are meant for each other and the author writes about their story in such a wooden and puppet-like way that I honestly feel like moving my arms up and down like a marionette master.  Those books usually hit the wall with a big thud.  Now that I read on my Kindle most of the time, those books get the left square click, scroll down and DELETE from Kindle.  :)

When the couples do the deed at or before the 50% point of the book, I tend to lose interest in the continuing deed-doing and just want to finish off the story and go find a new romance with a little more suspense. 

Other romances that tend to make me fall off the page count are when the hero is abusive or when the heroine is incredibly passive.  B O R I N G! 

For me, I was reading a series and the writer decided not to write about the characters from the previous books at all in the book and it really turned me off the whole series!  

An example of a movie I stopped watching was after the eyeball scene in "Hostel."  EEEK!

Anything involving victimization of children is a dead stop for me!

So, that's the awful list!

Now some awwwws :)

- when characters laugh together and I laugh, too
- a character finds out something about another character and does something to bring the relationship closer
- another character sets the stage for happiness and it works
-just when you think the couple will never "be" things seem to flow and you can't wait to see it all click
-there's an unexpected interaction and the two end up face to face -- for some reason, I love that!!!

Let me know your favorite "awws" and "awfuls." 

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!

Premature Romance-ulation?

I have a theory that romance novels where the starstruck couple reach an intimate relationship by the halfway point are boring to finish for the reader.

It's the same with TV series.  Once the sexual tension is resolved, viewers tend to drop off.

Is it better to keep the reader on edge waiting, waiting, waiting?  Yes!

Let me know your favorite books with a romance that made your heart soar or ache for the (hopefully) happy couple.

I Need More Cow Bell!

Today is Day 14 of my personal challenge from Brandy Miller's book, "How To Write an E-Book in 40 Days (or less)" and I need more Cow Bell!  Please stop by my facebook author page and leave me some Cow Bell, High5s, inspirational quotes, etc etc!  https://www.facebook.com/#!/ZapWritingWithShawnaHansen

Also, let ME know if you need some more Cow Bell, too! 

On my author page and other authors' pages, I see a lot of "here's my book" posts but no one ever says what they need from me as an AUTHOR. 

Yes, I know you want me to buy your book, but aren't you missing something here?  We're professionals.  We KNOW things.  We STUDY things.  We THINK about things. What kind of Cow Bell can I give you right now to help you WRITE? 

I am on the uphill slope to Day 20 (halfway point).  This is CRUNCH time.  For the next 7 days, I will be really pushing myself up that hill! 

Every little Cow Bell you can send me will be much appreciated!!

Have a great week of writing! 

Somehow

Storytelling doesn't have room for the word somehow.

Why not?

Somehow is the lazy writer's way of shrugging.

Nope, I am not gonna write it.  Somehow means the reader has to do the work.  It's the writer saying, "Not my job!"

Well, writers, SOMEHOW it IS your job.  :)

Let's talk it through.

some·how

  [suhm-hou]  Show IPA

adverb

1.

in some way not specified, apparent, or known.

Idioms

2.

somehow or other, in an undetermined way; by any means possible: She was determined to finishcollege somehow or other.

Somehow #1  Writers need to tell the story and describe the elements of the story, the history of the story and the future of the story.  When the story turns to "somehow" to describe what's happening, the reader should get mad at toss that book at the wall!  If I wanted to imagine "somehow" everything you're supposed to be telling me in your story, I'd go write my own "somehow."  

Sometimes the writer is writing from a point of view of a character who doesn't know how it happened.  Instead of dumping this on the reader, the writer can describe how the character feels not knowing what is happening.  Somehow is lazy!

Somehow #2 in any old way - somehow or other;  This phrase is OK for me as a reader.  It implies that the character will find the resolve, the way, or the willpower to make it happen.

Now writers, SOMEHOW needs to go bye bye.  I'll admit that I am sure that somehow or other a somehow snuck into my writing a time or two.  I'm going to share 2 things I'm doing to eliminate "somehow" from my writing:

1) I want you to check your drafts and look for every instance of SOMEHOW and write it out.  Tell the reader what you can about the "somehow."  

2) Use "somehow" as a way to fight writer's block.  When you're stuck, go back over your draft, find the "somehows" and write those scenes.

Have fun!

Watertown: Coming Home to Family

The world watched Watertown being searched for one of the Boston Marathon bombers last week,  What we saw on TV was a neighborhood in crisis:  families sheltering in place to stay safe.

What's it usually like in Watertown?

1st impression - BUSY!

They really squeeze a lot into 4.2 square miles.

There are always lots of cars, people and everyone's on the move.  Watertown is a great place to go shopping, go to restaurants and visit friends who live there because it's near the T (subway) and a lot cheaper rent-wise than Cambridge or Arlington.

The Mt. Auburn Cemetery is incredibly beautiful and is listed as the second oldest public garden in America by the American Association of Public Gardens and Arboretum.

Many Bostonians walk there and relax.

Watertown is where Paul Revere hid out with his family when the British were looking for him.  Paul Revere is known as a Revolutionary.  A Freedom Fighter.

That is a far cry from the bomber who hid out in Watertown last week.

Paul Revere fought for our freedom and so far, the only reason why the bombers apparently bombed innocent men, women and children attending the Boston Marathon was that they were FUBAR (f'ed up beyond all repair).

The runners crossing the finish line mid-afternoon each year of the marathon are not the professional athletes - they are your brother, your sister, your mom, your dad, your cousin, your spouse, your friend and your neighbor.  They are your community.

They may come from California, Texas, Illinois or Michigan, but on Race Day, the Boston Marathon is about making it from the start line to the finish line.  It's all about seeing your family after you've accomplished something really great in life.  A runner told me the best thing in life is seeing your child's face and their pride in you when you cross the finish line for the first time.

Where did these bombers start their journey from being "angels" as their father described his boys to "terrorists?"

The bombers crossed the finish line, but they never ran the race - they never loved anyone, helped anyone or sacrificed their own well-being for the sake of a greater cause.  They killed kids, moms, dads and friends.  Their own mother's heart is broken.  A father's dream for his sons is dead.

200+ people's bodies - ears, legs, feet, hands, arms, backs, brains, hearts were blown up, hit by shrapnel and punctured with bbs intentionally placed inside a pressure cooker bomb to kill.  One brother was killed in a shootout with police where he and his brother tossed grenades and shot at law officers.  One brother killed his own brother in an effort to escape.

That fleeing brother ran for about a mile and left a trail of blood to his hiding place in a boat in a family's backyard in Watertown.  He hid in that boat while his mother and father told the world their son would never kill innocent people.

But he did.  He killed kids, moms, dads and friends.  Then he killed a police officer and attacked a group of police officers.  He killed his own brother.

Then he tried to run away.

He broke his mother's heart.  He killed his father's dream.

200+ people whose bodies were blown up, pierced with metal, embedded with pieces of metal and burned were what this bomber hid from in that boat in a backyard in Watertown.

I just can't believe it.  I know the facts.  I know how much everyone is hurting.  I can't believe two men who were brothers, sons, nephews, a father, a college friend would hurt people.  I just can't understand why anyone would do such a thing!  When does "killer" become more important than "son" or "brother"?

Watertown is a busy place - people come and go and live their lives.  For one crazy day, the world watched Watertown protects its own and capture a killer.  Moms, dads, kids and friends can now walk again in a beautiful park, jog around a pond, shop in a local mall and live their busy lives.  Hearts are broken, dreams are lost and a lot of people are starting to live again after the tragedy.

Arms, legs, ears, feet, elbows and hearts will slowly heal  We've lost loved ones in a senseless bombing.  We've lost loved ones who showed up for work to protect the communities they serve.

We're starting to understand that winning means never giving up.  Never miss a moment to say I love you.  Never think that being busy is more important than the ones you love.  Be with the ones you love.

If there's anything the people of Watertown and Boston and the surrounding communities showed the world is that family is first.  Boston Strong doesn't stand for the army of law enforcement that swooped in after the bombing.

Boston Strong means the kids, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandmas, grandpas, friends and neighbors who love each other and take care of each other.

Boston Strong means being there for the ones you love.

Killing kids, moms, dads, sisters, brothers has only one finish line:  you lose.

Blah Blah Blahg-ing

What's the magic that takes a sentence from blah blah blah to "oh that is interesting!"

What can writers do to put a little zippity in the doo da for readers?

Here are some suggestions - let me know your thoughts, too!

1) Get to the point (unless there is no point) - assuming there is a point to what you're writing, TELL US clearly what it is.

2)  If there is no point - add some cool graphics that give a reader a "feel" for what you are trying to say so we can get the gist of it.

3)  Find a point to write about before you start - that helps a lot!

4)  Ask the reader for help if you have an idea but aren't sure what all the answers are.  (For example, what is the magic that makes a sentence worth reading?)

5)  Keep it short and to the point (but set the scene)- please don't wander off mid-sentence and ask yourself why you are writing this when the sun is shining and you haven't made your coffee yet and it doesn't look like your husband is going to pause his Formula1 race to go make you a nice cup of Blue Mountain coffee.  Have I ever told you how much I love coffee on Sunday mornings?  Is there anything better in life than drinking coffee while blogging on your couch feeling comfy cozy in your oldest pair of sweatpants and a glittery orange butterfly t-shirt on a lazy Sunday morning?

6)  M A G I C:  love your writing, love your reader, love being alive.

7)  Suspense:  as I inserted the image below into this blog, my husband walked into the kitchen and ran the water...

Your readers know when you love them and are writing for them.

Your readers also know when you're not writing FOR them, but writing for some other reason (vanity, lunacy or just plain for the money).  Readers can sense when you've put your blood, sweat and tears into a book.

They may not like the book, but readers can tell when writers put their heart and soul on the line.

That gift of heart & soul is what makes writing magic.

Have a great week of reading & writing!
Shawna 

Join my writing community on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ZapWritingWithShawnaHansen



Check out what I'm reading and writing at http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4981156.Shawna_Hansen
 
P.S.  The lights just went on in the kitchen again!  I can hear footsteps walking across the cold tiles.  Will the cupboard where the coffee is stored open with its usual squeak...?
(If you thought you had enough suspense in your story, it really never hurts to add a little more....)

Working 24/7

I'm on vacation this week, but my books are working 24/7!

The really cool thing about epublishing is that a reader can purchase and download a book at any time from almost everywhere in the world.

There is no need to be without something to read ever again.

It sounds terrific, but the more I think about the business of selling books, the more surprised I am that bookstores made it as long as they have.

Here's what I know about selling books:

There is always a library in every neighborhood full of free books (so as a book seller, I want to sell to libraries);

Just because a reader buys a book, it doesn't mean they will read it.  Books can sit around on coffee tables for decades before anyone bothers to read them.  It happens!  (Ebooks can languish away on hard drives world wide, but no one knows...)

It's hard to know exactly why anyone even wants to buy a book.  Readers buy books based on the covers or the placement in the store or just because it looks better than anything else they happened on as they browsed the shelves.  People who love to read have their likes and dislikes in reading material and those who don't really like to read, but buy books in case they suddenly want to read (which is not really very likely) will probably regift the book or start it and then donate it or sell it;

A lot of people don't read very often (or for fun).  A lot of people read 1-2 books a year and one of those books was actually a movie based on a book (that counts, right?);

A lot of people who do like to read don't have e-readers but prefer to buy hard copy books; and

Some people go to bookstores to drink coffee and look at books there (without buying them).  The last time I was at a big bookstore at the North Shore Mall, there were a few people browsing for books and the coffee shop was completely full of people looking at books!

It was a wonderful scene (and probably explains why the coffee there is so expensive).



For e-book writers, it's really impossible to give away a free copy of your book and expect anyone to talk about it after they read it.

There are some groups that solicit reviews online.  You can ask your colleagues and friends to read the book and help you out with a review, but honestly, even if you hand out a large number of books for free, it might not make much of an impression.


Ok, OK, so why is it so great to have a book out there that no one cares about 24/7?

All I can say is that writing a book is a positive experience.  Selling the book sucks, but knowing it's out there for that 1 random reader who loves to read your books on an e-reader and might just possibly tell a friend or two they loved your book, makes it worthwhile.

The one truly amazing thing about epublishing is that the writer decides when to sell a book and when to withdraw it.  The writer also sets the book's price (with the understanding that the retail site takes its cut).  

When writers get their works out into the world, society changes.  Think about what happened when the printing press was invented.  The internet and webpages changed the way human beings communicate with each other.

Being able to upload your writing to several retail sites instantaneously is a power very few writers have imagined.  Savor this artistic explosion, but don't forget to take a vacation here and there.

Your books will keep on working even if you're relaxing on the couch.